Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now, but I think you can reach me using this organized form. I'm not really sure if I set it up correctly, so your best odds are emailing my “reps” at firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com. Please, make them earn their ten percent. You can also click those three little circles at the bottom of this page for my Twitter, Email, and Instagram. Was I supposed to make this website funny? Fuck, I was too busy writing for the show Fairfax on Amazon, and now I guess the website’s over.